Toddler Holding in Poop? What We’ve Learned During Potty Training
- Mom 411
- Aug 28
- 5 min read
When we potty trained my son at 2½, peeing clicked surprisingly quickly. We followed the three-day method, and he really seemed to understand it.
Pooping was a completely different story.
At first, he would make it through the day without pooping and then go in the pull-up he still wears to sleep. Eventually, he started pooping on the potty, and I thought we were past the hard part.
More than six months later, I’ve realized poop has been its own potty-training journey.
What Poop Withholding Looks Like for My Toddler
If your toddler is holding in poop, you probably know how obvious the signs can be. My son is completely capable of pooping on the potty. Sometimes he just really doesn’t want to.
And I can almost always tell when he’s holding it.
He does what we call the “poop dance.” He gets cranky, says his stomach hurts, and sometimes wants to lie on the couch with a blanket.
We’ll ask, “Do you have to poop?”
The answer is almost always no, even when his body language is telling us otherwise.
He’s told us before that he’s scared and that pooping hurts. I’m never completely sure whether he’s describing exactly what he feels or repeating words he’s heard us use, but there definitely seems to be some fear around going.
Our pediatrician reassured us that poop struggles during potty training are common, which made me feel a lot better about how long this was taking.
How We Went From Pull-Up to Potty
There wasn’t one trick that suddenly got my son to poop on the potty. It was gradual.
We started with a small toddler potty on the floor and actually kept it in his bedroom so it was always close and easy to access. For a while, that was the only potty he would poop in.
Eventually, we introduced a step-up potty-training seat that goes over our regular toilet. Ours has a bear on it, which he thought was very exciting, and now he likes climbing up and using the “real” toilet himself.
We didn’t force a big transition. We gave him time to get comfortable with each step.
What We Do When He’s Holding His Poop
We’re still figuring this part out.
When I notice his usual signs, I ask if he needs to poop. If he says no, I usually give him a little time.
As he gets more uncomfortable, I’ll offer to massage his belly or have him lie on his back while I move his legs in a bicycle motion. He actually loves the bicycles, and sometimes they seem to help get things moving.
Mostly, I reassure him that I know he doesn’t want to go, but that his stomach will feel so much better afterward.
That’s really what has helped us most: staying calm, being there with him, and reminding him how much better he feels once he finally goes.
The Thing I Keep Reminding Him
Every time he finally poops, his mood completely changes.
He’s happy, his stomach feels better, and he’ll even tell us that he feels better.
We don’t use prizes or rewards. We tell him we’re proud of him, but mostly I try to help him make the connection:
Your tummy hurt. You pooped. Now your tummy feels better.
My hope is that eventually he’ll remember that before he gets so uncomfortable.
A Few Things That Have Helped Us
There hasn’t been one magic solution, but these little things have helped:
Keeping a toddler potty nearby so he had easy access when he was learning.
Letting the transition happen gradually instead of rushing him to the regular toilet.
Finding a potty seat he likes. The bear on ours genuinely made him excited to use it.
Belly massages and bicycle legs when he’s struggling to go.
Reminding him how he’ll feel afterward instead of only telling him he needs to poop.
Potty books. We used an interactive Elmo potty book with buttons that make sounds, and he loved it.
We’ve also occasionally given him prune juice when he seems like he needs a little help getting things moving.
None of these things has been an instant fix. For us, it’s been much more about making him comfortable and giving him time.
What I Wish I’d Known
I wish I’d known that potty training in three days doesn’t necessarily mean every part of potty training is finished in three days.
Peeing clicked quickly for my son. Pooping has been a much longer process.
First, he pooped mostly in his nighttime pull-up. Then he used the little floor potty. Eventually, he transitioned to the regular toilet. And more than six months later, we’re still working through periods of holding it.
Every toddler is different. Another child might struggle with pee and have no issue with poop.
But if your toddler mastered peeing and you’re wondering why poop still feels like a completely separate potty-training project, you’re definitely not alone.
Pooping on the potty can be a process, not a quick fix.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is it normal for toddlers to hold in their poop during potty training?
Our pediatrician reassured us that poop struggles during potty training are common. In our case, my son learned to pee on the potty quickly but took much longer to feel comfortable pooping.
Why does my toddler say he doesn’t have to poop when he clearly does?
This happens to us all the time. My son will say no even when he’s doing his “poop dance,” complaining that his stomach hurts, or getting cranky. I’ve learned to pay attention to his body language instead of relying only on what he says.
What helped my toddler poop on the potty?
For us, it was gradual. He started with a small floor potty that we kept nearby and eventually transitioned to a step-up seat on the regular toilet. Belly massages, bicycle legs, reassurance, and reminding him how much better he’ll feel afterward have also helped.
How long did it take my toddler to poop on the potty?
Much longer than it took him to pee. Peeing clicked during our initial three-day potty training, but pooping has continued to be a process for more than six months. Every toddler is different.
More Potty Training Help
If you’re just starting, read How I Potty Trained My Toddler in 3 Days for exactly what we did, what worked, and what I’d do differently.
You can also find all of my Potty Training Tips & Products I Actually Used on Mom 411.
This is our personal potty-training experience, not medical advice. If you’re concerned about your toddler’s bowel habits, pain, or constipation, talk to your pediatrician.
